01/28/05  Rice - Bush Vows Administered Today at Ceremony in the State Department


Washington (Rotters) - Condoleezza Rice, in a private surprise ceremony today at the State Department, made it official, swearing in as The President’s Second First Lady.

“All of us admire and appreciate the service of Laura Bush,” the president said. “She has some big shoes to fill”, Bush added. “Condoleezza Rice is just the person to fill them.”

Rice took the marriage vows today as President Bush’s second wife in the State Department as a nod towards the other position of Secretary of State that she will attempt to fill in the upcoming Bush Administration.

Administering the vows was Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Ginsberg praised Rice as a woman of “exceptional talent, who appears quite capable of fulfilling her new role.”

They exchanged vows, with The President pledging that he will lead her with “character and conviction and wisdom”.  Rice pledged in response, “You have given me my mission and I am ready to serve your great (unintelligible) and the cause of freedom for which it stands erect.”

Also present at the ceremony was the First First Lady, the Presidential Twins, Mrs. Rice’ family, and there was a surprise appearance from Sponge Bob Square Pants. The bride wore a plain, smartly and conservatively cut white dress.

White House spokesperson Scott McClellan fielded questions after the event stating, “Before anyone becomes too judgmental in pointing out the obvious, yes, The President is still married to Laura Bush. The plain and simple fact is that this administration is committed to being a uniter of our country.  While the President and Mrs. Bush and Mrs. Rice have been known to have been considering this move for quite some time, the opportunity arose today to solidify support for the moral and family values which won the day for the Republicans in this last election. They also felt that it would extend a hand to bridge the gulf between fundamentalist Christianity, and fundamentalist Islam.”

“Why Sponge Bob?”, Mr. McClellan continued, “The First Triple felt it important to get out the message that even they have begun to feel that Inflammatory Religious Conspiracies in America have gone too far.”

The First Triple will apparently begin an immediate extended yet separate honeymoon. The President and the First First Lady will be keeping a low profile at the White House, while the Second First Lady will begin an extensive tour of Europe, Israel, and the Middle East. “I am looking forward to Italy and the new spring line of Ferragamos,” Mrs. Rice bubbled. “Hurry back, now, and we’ll leave the light on for you!”  Mrs. Bush quipped.