01/31/05 Bush/Cheney Thumbs Up over Iraqi Election
Washington (Rotters) Monday, January 31, 2005 – The Bush Administration today expressed collective relief as the Iraqi elections concluded successfully, in their view, with minimal destruction and loss of life. Iraqis were noted to proudly flash their dye stained fingers as a badge of honor and pride in their first free democratic election.
Possibly as a show of support, both President Bush and Vice President Cheney were noted to be displaying stained fingers today in various appearances. “I don’t think anyone could possible imagine”, stated The President, “just how hard it has been to sit… sit here on this… and just watch, back here in Washington. Let no one underestimate the … the … the rectaltude… of this administration. For, if they do, they will be sorely mistaken.”
Vice President Cheney, at a separate appearance across town where he was promoting malpractice insurance reform to the National Proctological Association had this to say: “I believe the average American has no real concept of the tremendous amount of preparation that has gone into this administration’s being able to maintain an extended and uncomfortable position on Iraq. Preparation goes a long way to easing the burning, that is to say, the burning desire for relief, and Freedom for the people of Iraq.”
White House spokesperson Scott McClellan, proudly displaying a stained thumb, said “We’re all pretty relieved that this is over if even for just a short while. Even the worst Democratic pundit shouldn’t allow us this brief opportunity to flash a “Thumbs Up” in the light of day. Tomorrow, it will be back to business for this administration, and as Vice President Cheney stated earlier, it’s going to require tons of preparation”.
Senate Majority Whip, Mitch McConnell, the Republican Senator from KY, stated “I, too, feel this administration’s pain, and I want to solemnly pledge that KY is here to help in any way possible.”
When asked to provide a counterpoint comment, Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, D-California, simply smiled and said, “As I have said before, virtually none of the Bush Administrations policies sit well with me; this one in particular.”