04/19/05  Black Smoke Rising

European Tourist: "Oh look, there's black smoke rising over the Capitol... does this mean they've selected another House Leader?"

American: "Nope. That just means that Tom DeLay has set off foggers to try to get rid of more opposition... white smoke would rise if they got rid of him and his brains melted down..."

European Tourist: "Well, I thought that they would all be wearing red in a big procession into the building before this..."

American: "Actually, we're all hoping that they'll all be wearing orange in a big procession out of the building before long... along with the white smoke..."

European Tourist: "I think that's awfully decent that you Americans would honor the secret traditions of the Catholic Conclave in your government..."

American: "Oh, no, no, no.... you misunderstand. There would never be anything done behind closed doors in our government... it's always open... to, er...public view...Ummm... We believe in a total separation of church and state in this country and... Ummm.... Heh! Never mind... I hope we get white smoke pretty soon..."