05/22/05 Blogs Publish Photos of actual POTUS Daily Briefs! White House Hot
Washington (Rotters) In a stunning development today, two of America’s leading progressive blogs published actual classified photos of President Bush’ daily briefs. Anonymous spokespeople for both blogs stated that the source of the embarrassing photos was an un-named disgruntled White House insider. Efforts to expose the perpetrator were underway, as the secret service immediately suspended all access to the President and began poring over entrance and exit logs. Ironically these are the very documents that bloggers have recently been calling to question in regards to Talon reporter Jeff Gannon.
White House spokesman Scott McClellan stated that while he had not seen the photos, “I seriously doubt their veracity. I have full confidence in the secret service, and their ability to conduct a top drawer investigation. We will get to the bottom of this.”
Photo dated from January of 2002 apparently shows the President in his undies just moments before his ill fated encounter with a pretzel. Conspiracy theorists have noted that the President’s two dogs are absent in this photo, contrary to what was reported to the public.
McClellan further stated , ”There is no need for the American public to get their panties all up in a wad. However, I do think that the action of the two blogs in question was incredibly irresponsible, and they have done irreparable damage to America’s reputation both at home and abroad. Reparations must be made immediately.”
Spokespeople for the Daily Kos and the BooMan Tribune commented, “We are standing by our source. This person has stated that they are sickened by the war in America. They felt that by releasing these photos the Republicans might begin to see the President for who he really is, and in turn, cease their domestic terrorism and unrest. They wanted only to present to the Republicans the fact that the war is over, and they lost.”
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales stated, “This is clearly a violation of Republican Convention, and no expenses will be spared to render justice.”