By The Dood

(With apologies to Burt Bacharach, Hal David, and BJ Thomas… but not Tom DeLay) 

I don’t bat an eye; I just make sure the vermin’s fed

Nothin’ ever sticks

Those Lame Wonks keep callin’ for my head, they keep trawlin’

So I just hid me some money in a fund

I pled that you didn’t want DeLay, they all were stunned

Temples start to throb

Those Lame Wonks keep callin’ for my head, they keep trawlin’

And all my bling will grow

The blue states won’t defeat me, can’t unseat me

I’ll change the laws, use ruthlessness, they’ll never beat me

Lame Wonks keep callin’ for my head

So I’ve got to spin the lie you’ve all just been misled

Barkin’ up a tree

‘Cause I’m never gonna stop the strain til I’m reignin’

Its bribery

Gerrymanderin’ fee

{Trumpet solo}

You can’t go wrong with sappiness and actin’ blustry’

Lame Wonks keep callin’ for my head

A half dozen charges squirm like roaches in my bed

But I’ll never flee

‘Cause I’ll exterminate ‘em with some baitin’ and some sprayin’

Then they’ll pay me

Representation ain’t free