11/18/04

Well, here’s my latest masterpiece! I’m kind of proud of this one. This was inspired by my anger at yesterday’s news of the Republican dominated House rallying to the support of Bug Bomb Tom. It’s sung to the tune of BJ Thomas’ version of “Raindrops keep Fallin’ on My Head”. My ultimate dream would be to have it performed by the soon to be unemployed mighty soaring eagle himself, John Ashcroft!

 

Lame Wonks keep Callin’ for My Head

By The Dood

(With apologies to Burt Bacharach, Hal David, and BJ Thomas… but not Tom DeLay) 

 

Lame Wonks keep callin’ for my head

I don’t bat an eye; I just make sure the vermin’s fed

Nothin’ ever sticks

Those Lame Wonks keep callin’ for my head, they keep trawlin’

 

So I just hid me some money in a fund

I pled that you didn’t want DeLay, they all were stunned

Temples start to throb

Those Lame Wonks keep callin’ for my head, they keep trawlin’

 

And all my bling will grow

The blue states won’t defeat me, can’t unseat me

I’ll change the laws, use ruthlessness, they’ll never beat me

 

Lame Wonks keep callin’ for my head

So I’ve got to spin the lie you’ve all just been misled

Barkin’ up a tree

‘Cause I’m never gonna stop the strain til I’m reignin’

Its bribery

Gerrymanderin’ fee

 

{Trumpet solo}

 

You can’t go wrong with sappiness and actin’ blustry’

 

Lame Wonks keep callin’ for my head

A half dozen charges squirm like roaches in my bed

But I’ll never flee

‘Cause I’ll exterminate ‘em with some baitin’ and some sprayin’

Then they’ll pay me

Representation ain’t free