12/05/04 Na'Palme'

The hottest new fragrance from Mark 77! Just in time for Christmas or that certain Inaugural Ball in January!

Mark 77, a subsidiary of RoveCo International, has traveled to the exotic lands of the Middle East to capture for you the essence of the mystical land of Iraq!  We've returned with a fragrance both subtle and confident, yet one that is sure to make you just too hot to handle!  Introducing Na' Palme'!

Mark 77, with a mixture of bold aromas, has captured for you the very conflict and sexualized tension of this godforsaken land.  Feel the passion burn for yourself, and don't be surprised if you're overcome with the urge to "stop, drop, and roll"!  Balanced against the heady smell of JP-5 kerosene is the piquant and sweet aroma of polystyrene with just a hint of cordite and myrrh.

Na' Palme' comes in special blends both for women and men.  Suitable either as an evening fragrance or as a brisk aftershave refresher, your partner will know that you mean Business!  Don't believe us? Just listen to these actual statements from satisfied customers:

"Wow! That smell... it's just the bomb!"

"I love the smell of Na' Palme' in the morning... it smells like... the rectory... pastry... toiletry... flowery?  Gosh, it's hard to say… but it sure smells good!"

"My wife gave me some, and I tried it after a shave one time.  Next thing I knew, I had ripped off all of her clothes, tied her up, and threw a hood over her head! We'll never forget that night, no sirree!"

"I like to rub a little into my hamstrings after aerobics.  It makes better heat than Ben Gay, and it keeps me loose for hours.  And it drives the guys wild! Ooops... can I say ‘Gay’?”

Just imagine you and your loved one waltzing the night away at the Inaugural Ball, exuding an air of compassionate conservatism and security thanks to Na' Palme'! Both the ladies’ and gentlemen’s versions of Na' Palme' are now retailing for $50 an ounce, and if you order now, and you're willing to sign a loyalty oath, we'll throw in two free tickets to the Presidents inauguration in Washington, DC in January.  It may be a chilly morning that day, but you won't have to worry about exposure with Na' Palme'!

Let’s say that you spill a little barbeque sauce on your tux or gown at the ball. No problem!  Na' Palme' is also an excellent stain remover!  Just spritz on a little over the offending stain, and in seconds it dries to a fine white powder that can be brushed off with a napkin. (Not safe for synthetics, or blends; natural fibers only. Nylons, rayons, and polyesters have been known to melt with significant release of heat.)

On a precautionary note, Na' Palme' should not be used near any source of open flame.  Also, it should be used with great caution by individuals with high concentrations of melanin in their skin.  Incidents of spontaneous combustion with temperatures upwards of 5000° have been documented in individuals of East Asian and Middle Eastern ethnicity.

Mark 77, RoveCo International, and their parent company Helluvaburden are all proud supporters of our troops in harms way in Iraq, and you, the taxpayers of America.  For every dollar that you spend on your purchase of Na' Palme' they will donate one half to their CEOs and shareholders with a proud and humble thanks to our patriotic young men and women in uniform and their continued struggle to promote the Business of Freedom!

Order now! Our toll free operators are standing by in Bangladesh!