12/29/04   Stinginess


No wonder Dub has been so quiet lately, especially in regards to the evolving disaster in Asia! He’s bristling at the comments from the UN that the US and other “rich countries” in the world are cheapskates when it comes to relief funding, and so grudgingly has Colin Powell cough up another $20 million to a grand total of $35 million.

I wish that I had caught this, but I have to credit Michael Moore… the inauguration/coronation cost alone stands at $40 million! Compassionate Conservatism at its best! A one day celebration is worth more to Dub than helping with 70,000 plus dead and growing; a stark equation.

He stands with a pretty easy choice here, in my opinion:


1)       Do the “Christian”, altruistic thing and pare down the “coronation” to a simple $1 million or so swearing in ceremony. Then, pass on those corporate donations to where they can do the most good and immediately raise America’s ante to $70 or $80 million for disaster relief. There’s not a corporation that would dare fault him for it, and in fact, with leadership on the issue from the White House, they may be willing to contribute even more money, goods, or services. This would also go a long way to extending an olive branch to the half of the country that feels he has stolen another election, and demonstrate in a symbolic way what things he is willing to sacrifice for the unity of America.


2)       Have the “coronation” as planned and do the “Compassionate Conservative” shuffle… “These people should have should have known better to build homes and resorts along the coast in the first place.” “They should have had good insurance.” “It’s their own fault for not investing in a Tsunami warning system.” “We’ll just be harming them by bailing them out temporarily.” “Sure, it’s a tragedy, but they’re all dead, and no amount of money will ever bring them back.” “We’re just opening the doors wide to future frivolous disaster claims and further waste”

Rarely in history does anyone ever get a chance in one lifetime at a real “do-over”. One could view this as a 9/11 redux. You’ve got an opportunity to step up and show the world what America really stands for without an ulterior motive. What’s it going to be, Dub?



12/29/04   CIA (Culinary Institute of America)


Wait… how’s this for a new term, sort of along the lines of “Camp X-Ray Dissident Resort and Spa”? ‘You’ve been scheduled for a little “R and R” (rendition and redaction)! As a lover of language, you gotta admire the terms ‘Biscuits’ and ‘renditions’! They are much more creative euphemisms than simply “disappearing” someone.

Do you think that the CIA thought this terminology through, or are the culinary references simply random or “half-baked”? A chef can be described as “rendering” food, or promoting his or her “rendition” of “Chicken Kiev ala Chef Goss”, as an example. One has to wonder if these DOD and CIA ‘Biscuits’ we hear about are made from the “can” (the big “can” at Gitmo, or the little “can” at Abu Ghraib) or made from “scratch” (my guess, a whole lot of “taxpayer scratch”). How about a marketing slogan borrowing from a national chain: “Gotta, Wanta, Needa, Gitmo Biscuit!”?

(If you represent the above chain in question, and you’re offended by this reference, why not sue the DOD or CIA for theft of the term ‘biscuit’, rather than little ole me. They certainly have more money than I, and I’m a loyal customer who regularly dines with you for lunch!)

It’s fascinating to see how food and eating terms enter into the vernacular of the strange world of the CIA and torture. Do you think that when suspects get off the plane in Jordan, Pakistan, or Indonesia they are still “rendered” by being “grilled”? By all accounts, it sounds like ‘cooking techniques’ have become much more sophisticated, with experimentation with “broiling” and “desiccation”  at the little ovens at Gitmo. Also, we have accounts of “seared” ear canal in Iraq as well as “hand flambé”. And nothing brings out the full flavor and character of a confession like a good “suffusion” of Sodium Pentothal! What’s next, “Sushi”? I’m sure that some creative people will figure out a way to do this so as to elicit maximum pain without exceeding Bush and Gonzales’ restrictions on “permanent damage”. Indeed, the accounts of sexualized humiliation and torture add a new and very sardonic meaning to the term “greasy spoon restaurant”. (If you are offended by the last reference, don’t take it out on me, because this has been done to people and in your name as an American.)

Food is something that we all have in common and most people take joy in. What better Psy-Op than to commandeer this to make torture a more “palatable” option for America. Any great Chef will tell you that “It’s all in the presentation”. So what else can we expect from “Chef Goss” and the CIA (Culinary Institute of America) in the near future? How about the “non-lethal” crowd control of ultrasound, infrasound, microwave, laser and taser devices? My guess is these new “cooking techniques” are already in place in Iraq after extensive refinement in overseas “kitchens” throughout the world. Where do you stand? Are you hungry now, or have you lost your appetite?