05/25/05 Breaking: Photographic Proof of Wounding of Terrorist Mastermind
Washington (Algae-Zebra) Middle Eastern news sources released photos today claiming to be proof that prayers were answered, and the leading Terrorist Mastermind in the Iraq/US conflict had survived mortal wounds after seeking medical care. The photos are presumed to show the Master Plotter recuperating in hospital. White House sources were said to be elated over the prospects of this development, but cautioned against further optimism until the photographs in question could be authenticated.
Photo reputedly from sometime last week shows Karl Rove recuperating from massive cellulitis acquired as a result of a paper cut obtained in the line of his expanded duties at the White House. Also shown is his crack nursing staff, and Pop star Britney Spears, a noted unflogging supporter of the Bush Administration and its Terror War. Ms Spears could not be reached for comment to attest to the reliability of the content of the photos.
White House spokesman Scott McClellan stated that he had seen the photos in question, and said, "I can't be certain, but that does look like the Karl that I know. It was kind of touch and go there for a while last week. Karl has always cautioned the staff about the care and handling of his documents, and well, I guess we all know why now. I think that this also explains an embarrassing mix up from this office in the last few days. I was on the phone with Karl, and I thought I heard him say "I want a retraction...". Apparently that was one of the physicians just working with his wounds."
McClellan continued..."We're all just glad that Karl seems to be OK now, but we'll have to confirm that. I can't tell you how panicked I felt last week in the midst of the plane scare here in DC when that call went out over the Secret Service frequency "Turd Blossum is down! Repeat... Turd Blossum is down, and we are in transit!"
When asked if the President had a comment, McClellan stated that Mr Bush was said to be considering another round of Medals of Freedom that would certainly include Mr Rove.
Representatives from the progressive blogs Daily Kos and BooMan Tribune cited an anonymous source and former White House insider that called to question the authenticity of the photos. "These have obviously been altered; there is some real hanky-panky going on here... this is just more classic Rove propaganda attempting to put the best face on things. This is not the Karl that I have known intimately..."