11/12/04   Coronation

Well, it seems that the Bush administration is currently planning the festivities for the new coronation.  Citing security reasons, they're proposing the utilization of over 4000 of our men in uniform.  The assumption here, I suppose, is that the coronation would be a very high value target for trrrsts.  But wait, I thought that was the whole reason that spurious George was reelected.  He had whupped their asses and America was safer.  Maybe this is just a general show of force for anyone opposed.  If you disagree with any of the administration's policies, you are by definition collaborating with trrrsts.

It will be interesting to see how this little ceremony pans out.  My prediction is that it will be reminiscent of the loyalty oaths and screenings we saw during Bush's campaign.  In other words, Democrats need not apply or attend.  It is a free country, and if you wish to protest you will probably be given the opportunity in a cordoned off crime infested area of DC miles from the festivities.  But, you shouldn't have a problem with this, and should be comfortable amongst your peeps.  Any dissension projects weakness and comfort to the trrrsts and we just can't allow that to happen!

Someone proposed on the Internet in the last few days that we should all attend the coronation parade, and as the limousine passes, simply turn our backs away for the cameras.  That sounds pretty cool on the surface, but I feel it's totally inadequate. That type of passivity is what has allowed Democrats to be marginalized by the right wing neoconservatives. In the first place, you're going to be stopped and disallowed simply because of the screening processes.  Even if you do succeed in getting through and turn your back on the limousine, the Republican brown shirts are going to whup your asses.  If they don't, your stunt is likely going to be screened by the 4000 men in uniform lining the parade route.

So, what's a civil disobedient to do?  The Dood has a few thoughts here.  I must caution you, however, that no matter what you decide to do, you are probably going to get your ass whupped!  With that in mind, and you still wish to proceed, here are my thoughts.  Firstly, you've got to gain access to the parade.  Practice really hard at acting like a Republican and learn to speak Republican.  What ever loyalty oath or paperwork you must sign fake your way through it and do it.  Next, make yourself some gratuitous signs in support of Bush, or acquire one of the mass marketed ones.  Finally, infiltrate the crowd of your fellow Americans, and at the right moment give King George the “one fingered victory salute” that he has made so famous!  Then prepare to have your ass whupped.  But, maybe if there are enough “salutorians”, people will be more reluctant to whup ass. 

Imagine the site for the cameras and the world of the parade route lined with soldiers and hundreds of thousands of "birds", enough to make Hitchcock envious, floating and swaying in the wind behind them.  This would be difficult to hide from any camera angle.  Perhaps someone with the wherewithal could construct a giant helium filled replica of “The Salute” to float over the mall for all to see during the coronation.

If you are arrested for this act, you can rightfully maintain innocence, in that your president did it first!  Trust me; I really feel that if he had his way during the parade, he would be standing through the sunroof of the limousine saluting you!