01/27/08

Bill and Hill must choke down the race pill,
As Obama still plays with the swill.
Edwards seeks to conflate,
His home Palmetto state,
While the press sups with Rovian shills...

Super delegates I just really hate,
Popular vote is thrown into debate.
Our opinions are tossed,
By our party's embossed,
As they send out a primary rebate.

01/23/06

“If I wanted to break the law…”
This nonsense sure sticks in the craw.
‘Oh then just why would I brief,
And risk Congressional grief?’
Brief lies surely aid the scofflaw…

Halliburton is back in the News…
They gave some of our GI’s the spews.
Seems the water they’d filter,
Left our troops all off kilter,
‘Cause the warnings of poo met poo-poohs…

The latest news on that predator drone,
Swept Pakistan like an ugly cyclone,
They want to toss our envoy,
Over the lives we destroy,
The end result… now Al-Qaeda’s enthroned…

Today Bush spoke of the “rightness of cause”…
Vowed ‘Right to Lifers’ would overturn laws…
Burying Roe versus Wade,
With an activist parade,
Led by Scalito, who’ll tip the seesaws…

Seems now Ford faces the fate of GM,
Profits falling to a point that is grim…
Announcing massive lay-offs,
Management stays at the troughs,
Designing cars that they’ll market on whims…

How entertaining, a war of the Pops!
Over Frank, it seems that Nick finished tops!
Complained his granddaughter cried,
But ‘twas his son who had lied;
This Mrs. Scalito performance just flops…

I bet that made some folks look askance,
When these guys all began to depants!
Saying they’d cause a melee,
Cops yanked them off the subway,
Were bombs hidden away as implants…?

01/17/06

Al Gore really told them what for...
For sure the Repubs are now sore!
So they'll set out to impugn,
Funded by Sun Myung Moon;
Troubadours with lickspittle spoor...

John Ashcroft, a blast from the past...
His legal usurping quite vast.
But just today the Supremes,
Smacked the "Culture of Life" memes;
Now dignified death's not harassed...

`Twas scut work for the FBI guys,
Tracking fruit from Bush/NSA lies.
Though they uncovered no plot,
It just may help them a lot,
In dismissing the bribe alibis...

It now seems that George Bush has been sued,
O'er your rights that his thugs have eschewed,
Once in Detroit would be nice,
Ah, but New York makes it twice!
Make popcorn while it all comes unglued...

The Republicans want ethics? What fun!
They now stand blind in the light they once shunned...
Clumsily giving back bribes,
From the Jack Abramoff tribes,
Does this amend the misdeeds they have done?

Beware of the "Trade Center Cough",
You heroes that Bush will cast off...
An unending disaster,
The inhaling of plaster,
With health care a drained, bitter quaff...

Captain Kirk's sold his old kidney stone...
Now just why's this poor taste been condoned?
Seems Shatner wants to espouse,
Habitat's building a house,
What next... maybe some ashes from Bones?

12/18/05

The Imperial reference is hot!
The contrast shows what Bush is not.
With insurgents he's unleashed,
Burning the whole Middle East,
Then Iraq's just a used Camel-lot...
 

12/17/05

Old Fristy's donations to AIDS,
Resemble a huge masquerade.
Used as payments for Bubbas,
And not earmarked for Rubbas,
Leaves much of the Third World waylaid...

Colin Powell weighs in on rendition,
He implies that it's just extradition.
Defends his protégée Rice,
From the world's charges of vice,
Dirty secrets of global submission...

Old Dubbers scrubs his radio address,
Then seemingly proceeds to confess.
But His Majesty's passion,
Seeks the truth to refashion...
It's not a crime if he's under duress...  

Bush rails at those who've leaked to the Times,
He accuses them all of high crimes.
And yet the truth does appear,
He had them wait for a year,
Then still couldn't stop them?!? ... sublime!

10/14/05

John Bolton is now threatening withdrawal,
If the US just can't have it all.
He just stood there and fumed,
Said the UN was doomed,
He's a real "Fortress Mustache" screwball...

With his polls at a pathetic percent,
Having exhausted all fears to foment,
Republicans in tatters,
Bush just less and less matters
He is more of a lame monk president...

Alas, sometimes the truth can be ducked,
And the best legal systems are bucked.
But one can always surmise,
By just the look in one's eyes,
And these say. "Oh my God, I'm so fucked..."

Americans, as a whole, are now rude.
They're taught never to display gratitude.
We're not teaching good manners,
Hiding out in McManors,
Deathly afraid that we're going to be sued...

"The Letter", it now seems, may be fake.
It depends on whose side you may take.
Al-Zawahari to Iraq,
Or operation so black?
Karl Rove's planted many a snake...
 

10/10/05

Karl returns to the jury to opine,
But short of some intervention divine,
The world will soon see the Freeps,
And the company he keeps,
As a bunch of little swimmers porcine...

10/03/05

09/29/05

09/28/05

09/27/05

A bit late, but I tracked down this guy "Chang",
Who Jeb swears helps him get on with his thang,
Accident with transporter,
Or drank way too much Porter's?
Either way, he's just been tugging his wang...

09/26/05

09/21/05

This pic reminds me of the Titanic,
The couple on the bow, almost manic...
As Rita churns to the west,
Once more puts FEMA to test,
If Texan, he just maybe might panic!

09/20/05

09/19/05

08/18/05

Gyanendra must be Dubya's hero,
Both have press tolerance that's near zero,
He is Nepal's brand new King,
Dub assumes he's the same thing,
Both seem more like oblivious Neros...

09/17/05

09/16/05

Reminiscent of poor old Bridget Jones,
Renee's splitting from Chesney, hold the phones!
She cites fraud as the reason,
The marriage is not pleasin',
Has the Sexy Tractor been overblown?

09/15/05

Bush addresses a nation that's hurtin'
He'll insist there'll be no more desertin',
As Americans we must,
In God and Him, put our trust,
And, of course, good ol' Halliburton...

09/14/05

09/13/05

09/12/05

09/11/05

09/10/05

Seems the appeal of Jose Padilla,
Squashed flatter than a steamrolled tortilla,
Will give Dubya the patent,
On "enemy combatant",
And CIA the "OK's to steal ya"...

The Big Easy, loosely ruled by the FED,
Is now saying nearly everyone's fled.
Controversy still rages,
O'er this new "Middle Ages",
A sad rendition of "bring out your dead"...

With his polls under forty,
Despite Rove's latest sortie
Dub has forsaken,
Sleepers awakened,
Lame duck? More like abortee...

Koizumi wants to privatize stamps,
And unite LDP's squabbling camps.
To halt further defections,
He invokes snap elections.
Polls show he's won, thusly tightening the clamps.

They've rejailed that ol' Edgar Ray Killen,
Convicted geriatric Clan villain,
Wheel chair confined? Not at all...
Seems he was seen walking tall,
Driving `round, and his truck gas tank fillin'...

Wagner, blind guy from Cape Town,
Just mowed the speed records down.
Next feat, no lyin'
Wants to try flyin',
But, can his cane reach the ground?

Braumeister Schneider's perfected beer shots.
At fifty proof, `twill have patrons see spots.
So, the excuses you'll hear,
"But, sir, I just had one beer!",
In Bavaria, will all go for nought...

09/09/05

Ground Zero survivors gypped,
While others, huge loans were slipped.
Why the emoting?
They're just promoting,
Entrep-manure-ialship...

BS this Brown resume,
More like a roll in the hay.
Carefully vetted,
Or Dub indebted,
Results: New Orleans doomsday.

Colin weighs into the fray
"Blame Game" he seeks to defray,
Declining four star,
To Hurricane Czar,
Distracts the racial waylay.

This from a new AP poll,
Folks vote to fill in the hole.
New Orleans rebuilt,
On hills not of silt,
No more beignets on the shoals...

Discharged today, Jaques Chirac,
After a week off the clock.
It could be a lie,
Concern for his eye,
Covering up ticker shocks.
 

09/08/05

Mrs. Merkel, now left open to slimers,
Stole from Reagan her speech making primers.
Now the "Great Communicator",
oder "Grossartige Redner"?
Maybe SHE should be checked for Alzheimer's...

From Tal Afar, a motley collection,
Of those opposed to US prefection,
With two hundred arrested,
Are insurgents now bested,
With swayed constitutional selection?

Schwarzenegger says he'll veto gay marriage,
Saying the will of the people's disparaged,
Governor Hummer has run,
From some supporters he's stunned,
He should mark the fence POSTS with this carriage...

It's the fifteenth named storm of the season,
Perhaps named Ophelia for a reason?
Drowning's the fate many met,
With US plunged into debt,
From Bush/FEMA malfeasance and treason.

The Veep went down to witness the soup,
Talking to Brown, he fell into the goop,
Crawling out, he mutated,
Black heart, invigorated,
The swamp thing now stalking `round is the scoop.

09/07/05

09/06/05

Capacitors recharging in frenzy,
Kept flashes on our POTUS chimpanzee,
As he made with the glad hands,
With Gulf Coast suffering fans,
Hiding plans that were still pretty flimsy.

Dub wants to quicken the pace,
To fill the Chief Justice space,
Slower or faster,
He's a disaster,
Dear Leader, such a disgrace...

Waters receding to Lake Pontchartrain
Bridges destroyed on Iraqi flood plains.
Can the yellow elephants,
Now fight a war on two fronts,
Or just continue their swirl down the drain?

Steven Soderbergh gave his latest spin,
That Reality TV's pretty thin.
Will his new film called "Bubble",
Just resort in more trouble,
As Hollywood's reality sets in?

While Dub's still riding his bike,
Minions will hog all the mikes.
The little "Dutch" boys,
Will use all their ploys,
To claim that THEY plugged the dikes...

09/05/05

Secretary of State Donald Rummy,
Made Katrina survivors feel crummy,
Noted shunner of the Hague,
Treated folks like they had plague,
Behavior that would just stun your mummy...

A Moscow man took to bed,
Ignored the train overhead,
His drunken stupor,
Turned out quite super,
Slept through bloodshed; kept his head...

There's news of a typhoon name of Nabi,
Bearing down on Japan's Nagasaki.
Global warming has insured,
Our Cajun beating endured,
Is small taste of a worldwide Wasabi...

With the death yesterday of judge Rehnquist,
Bush can give the high courts a brand new twist,
If there's one thing we've all learned,
He doesn't care who gets burned,
Dub is never a power relinquist...

America is stunned by the starkness,
Of the dikes giving way under snark-fest,
With a flood of new glowers,
The White House has lost power,
A Presidency's plunged into "dork-ness".

09/04/05

On the heels of disasterous fudges,
The Shrub now gets to pick us TWO judges,
With William Rehnquist now dead,
American's cower in dread,
As Dub trudges along with the Drudges...

The US, it "Will move heaven and earth."
This idiom should be spoken with mirth.
Post 9/11, `twas the first,
Perhaps Gonzales was the worst,
Now the irony of levees rebirth...

Does he believe what they're having him say?
Who does Chertoff really think that he'll sway?
`Twas a disastrous hurricane,
AND lots of flooding from the rain.
A hurricane without floods, Bud?!? No way.

"Nicole Kidman is a CIA spook,"
This according to Mugabe, that kook!
Calling western sanctions a plot,
This flick a cultural garrote,
`Tis a counter-intelligent rebuke...

Displaying both alacrity and grace,
Al Gore came for Tennesseans displaced.
The Texas Air National Guard,
Has also been working hard,
Dub could re-up... nope... not that pantywaist.

"Ain't no one's fault, the dam caved in,
Ain't no one's fault, it's all just spin."
Please, Lord, don't raise the numbers,
Of American slumbers,
Just when the Ain'ts come marching in...

09/03/05

"I don't want to go to no Astrodome.":
Victim of the Superdome catacomb.
This former Big Easy jewel,
Now just a giant pustule,
Renamed the Louisiana Comedo-me...?

"Hello, Kiddies... can you say `Civil War'?"
Mr. Rogers could have showed Dub what for...
Speaking down to his level,
Giving details to Devil,
Seems like sweaters would trump fetters, for sure.

Its day five of a city held hostage,
Subject to political accostage.
Dubya's acceptance of blame.
Has come across pretty lame,
`Twas the fate of his promised low cost pledge...

"A response to high prices,
Global Energy Crisis,"
"`Twill come into play",
Alarms IEA.
"Left to US devices..."
(one for the scan cops!)

Take cover... a topical suppression,
Is spinning that there's been no transgression,
Moving into your city,
With cyclonic perfidy,
No confessions, but artful digressions...

09/02/05

Admitting that it's not enough,
Ol' Dubbers just trys to hang tough.
Lambasted by Newt,
Ol' Mitt follows suit,
DeLay plays his lies in the rough...

Draining New Orleans could take eighty days,
Followed by anti-bacterial sprays,
When the whole city's deloused,
And law and justice espoused,
Who'll be left there to enjoy the beignets?

The season is so far from over,
They say it will stretch through October.
With Maria appearing,
And more hurricanes leering,
Safe place? How about maybe Dover?

Has Kyoto returned home to roost,
In giving Katrina a big boost,
Euros point out the looters,
And the anarchic shooters,
As reason for assistance induced.

"The Speech" ({[Parenthetically Thinking]})

Starring: (Bill), [GWB], and {GHWB}

"We just spent some time talking about..."
[ Jesus Christ, I sure hope this works out....]
(Damn, his dad sure looks old...
On his suit...is that mold...)
{Fuck! This boy has become such a lout...}

"...close contact with Secretary Chertoff."
[Photo-op... working hard with shirt off...]
{The risk Carlyle's takin',
Fucking savin' his bacon...}
("Watch this drive!"... c'mon Dub, let's play golf...)

"... priority, of course, is to save lives."
(Jeeze, his polls sure have taken a nose dive...)
{Barbara paid the damn bail...
Shoulda' left him in jail...}
[Karl was right! I think they're buying this jive!]

"... repair the breeches in the levees."
[These guys sure do help me look heavy...]
{...since he was a young tyke...
Always messing with dykes...}
(First time... in the back of a Chevy...)

"...hard to get gasoline to some markets."
[Did they fill up my truck `fore I parked it?]
(For folks driving the hummers...
It's an end to their summers...)
{Venezuela... damn Robertson narced it!}

"... the money raised is money needed."
[Damn, Poppy's hairline has receded...]
{The whole friggin Gulf Coast....
Guess, the party is toast...}
(Damn, but Al should never have ceded...)

"... help the victims of the Tsunami relief."
{Did he just say that? Oh my God... oh good grief...}
(Seems like this apple to me,
It don't fall far from the tree!)
[It's going great! We should play "Hail to the Chief"...]

{Damn but George Junior's so dim...
This whole thing... it fucking looks grim.}
[Its "balls to the wall"...]
"May God Bless you all."
(May God save us all just from him...)

09/01/05

Bush says that there's a lot of help coming,
Foreign Aid? Says we shouldn't be slumming,
You must starve by the laws,
Conserve gas, use rickshas,
To fix the Oiligarchy's old plumbing...

Camp Casey is being disbanded,
"The Shrub" has been really backhanded.
This was no defeat,
BUSH beat the retreat,
This war o'er our country's expanded...

`Tis sad that it's now the "Big Queasy"
With waters all sickening and greasy.
Now with fears of West Nile,
And old germs more motile,
Sanitation restoration's not breezy...

With Katrina and the war with Jihadists,
The new spin on the economy's oddest...
Our oil production's way down,
They're all smiles, not a frown
Better run... if they're using the word "Modest"...

Bunol, Spain's in the news for excess,
"Tomatina" won't famine address...
While chucking the maters,
Internal debaters,
Thought to send pizza pie as redress...

"THE FLYBY"

"Hey, Pilot! Woncha' bring `er down lower!"
"But Sir... I can't fly it much slower..."
"I'll get off this squawk box,
An' knock your head in your socks,
Yer' ass is grass, and I'll be the mower"

"We're descending, we'll bring her about...
Roger, Wilco, Sir... over and out,"
"Karl, ya see what I mean,
Ya gotta make a big scene,
True leadership's `bout usin' yer clout..."

"Hey, ya'll, take a look out this winder,
Heh... looks like it's been through a blender...
Little ants in a pond,
I just wave my big wand,
George Bush... human sufferin' ender..."

"Them levees let that Ponchertrain Lake in,"
"Sir , the War took a lot of their bacon..."
"Karl, you know that's a sin...
Gotta make with the spin..."
"Better play ball...  this Blanco and Nagin..."

"Down there! I think I see me some looters...
See the ones by the girl with the hooters?
Ya think Air Force One,
Could get Gatling guns?"
"I don't know, sir... we'd never make it past Souter..."

"So they're looters, sir... how can you tell?"
"They're like the Cong back in Nam, there Michelle...
They'll just drop or they'll run,
Once they've heard the big gun,
And the runners... you just lead them real well..."

"My God, Karl! What's that terrible sound?"
"Stall warning... we almost hit the ground...
We darned near clipped the dome,
Let's just head `er back home...
I see the press now... it's `Chicken Hawk Drowned'..."

"Who's the pilot, I want to go meet `em,
My pants... damn... think I just mighta' peed `em...
That's a really close call,
Almost dropped the football...
Could we get him a Medal of Freedom...?"

08/31/05

Katrina's, vast floodwaters bled,
A cesspool, infection that spread,
With levees eroded,
Big Easy has coded,
Will it e'er arise from the dead?

Uncovering terrorist plots,
FBI is worried a lot,
Radical Islam,
With jailhouse Imams,
Tempests in our penal teapots.

Flooding leads into the looting,
Looting leads into the shooting,
New Orleans, it's sad,
Resembles Baghdad,
Powers that be need a booting...

New news of a terror attack,
On a bridge in Baghdad, Iraq,
Six hundred plus dead,
Killed fleeing in dread,
The bomb? Just an off color crack...

Here's one for the folks who cat blog:
A feline in Hamburg bird-dogged,
It broke its way in,
Ate goldfish and then,
Arrested, was marched like a frog...

08/30/05

Maybe it's only semantics,
To me, it's more PC antics,
"Protesters, both sides"?
Just hides the aside,
"Protest-Protester fanatics"

"Heavy Fighting Erupts in Western Iraq"
"U.S. Copter comes under attack"
Dub says "We're much safer"
His communal Kool-Aid and wafer,
Oh for God's sake, let's just bring them all back!

Not much news on a breach of a levee,
If true, then it would certainly be heavy.
The "Big Easy" would drown,
In raw sewage downtown,
And coffins floating along with old Chevys.

Dub, speaking from Rancho Cucamonga,
Stresses the war in Iraq will go longa,
Cindy Sheehan will tour,
And seek to ensure,
There's an end to this hideous Bush Conga...

Some thief has stolen Dorothy's slippers,
In Grand Rapids, leaving quiet as the ripper.
Worth a million or more,
Bet they're feeling cocksure,
This slipper nipper should be feeling quite chipper!

08/29/05

Bush opened doors at the Abu Gharib brig,
Bent ears of the Sunni and Shiia bigwigs,
For his constitutional collusion,
He stands to reap a contusion,
That's right folks, it's now lipstick for this pig...

Can America absorb this cesspool?
A million homeless and dwindling fuel?
A war on her platter,
An economy in tatters?
Blame George Bush for his continued misrule.

Three hours Russian Security flouted,
As Senators Lugar and Obama just pouted,
We're left to surmise,
Maybe CIA Spies?
But don't get Plamed for deep covers outed!

Seems the Pentagon had taken the notion,
On Saturday for a stealthy demotion.
This persecution of Bunny,
Smells ever more funny;
Cheney's finger stirring up this sick potion?

`Tis fascinating, like father, like son,
Their lives and the way they were undone.
On extortion both fatted,
By lieutenants were ratted,
The Gottis and the webs that they spun...

08/28/05

Katrina bears down on the "Big Easy"
As the citizens flee, very queasy.
Will there be stories told,
After the future unfolds,
Of a big spot off the I-10 that is greasy?

Bad audio from the President's address,
On Iraq's constitutional progress,
Makes him sound like he's hunkered,
In some Hitler type bunker,
While the world all around seeks redress...

Promoting intelligently designed theses,
In their fight against the origin of species,
The Religious Right at great cost
Are creating "Lands of the Lost",
And embossing their old taurine feces...

Good news for us Java fanatics,
Whose coffee drinking is far from erratic,
Polyphenols are keen,
In the old coffee bean,
Decreasing cancer, if you're no total addict.

Fascinating, this "Vertebroplasty"!
Alleviating spinal fractures quite nasty.
Figuratively speaking as well,
Don't you know, sure as hell,
`Twould improve our Democratic leaders quite vastly...

08/27/05

Camp Casey will endure chartered busses,
Filled with sycophantic Right-Wing blunderbusses,
They'll whine and they'll squeal,
In patriotical zeal,
These blood-lusted and embittered cusses.

Is it time to chalk up the latest flop,
From "Dear Leader", that Shrubulyew fop?
His pathetic "solution",
This Iraq constitution,
Dropped straight on his doorstep... ker-plop!

Although Floridians have tired of this crap,
Another disaster now sits in their lap,
After Katrina's in ebb,
And they've weathered Dubbers and Jeb,
Maybe then they'll take seriously "The Map"...

Thinking a warning might really be wise,
In California, they'll start labeling fries.
The risk of cancer's unsure,
But Attorney General Lockyer,
Promotes the notion of these package gadflies...

"Seeking public reaction to a plan"
FDA stalls, "morning after" pill's banned...
This quibbling enforcement,
Is merely conservative endorsement.
The Right plans to have ALL birth control banned.

What? Redford and Newman? Could be!
They just might reunite for film three!
Could they bring home the goods,
In, "A Walk in the Woods"?
Or will Butch and Sundance merely sting you and me?

08/26/05

Oh, to have been a fly on the wall,
When W made the Shiia last minute call.
Smoothing Sunnis' defections,
Or advice on stealing elections?
Either way, should be a blood-thirsty fall...

Porter Goss will dance a quickening gavotte,
A new report has him in a tight spot.
Tasked with sweeping new changes,
To the CIA granges,
Will he just sweep under the rug this onslaught?

Comes the news that they'll close Walter Reed.
Yet they say it's to be done out of need,
Of modern facilities,
With high tech abilities.
Still it leaves the growin' area kneed...

In California, new blackouts are rolling,
With the ghosts of Enron mega-trolling.
Arnold stepped to the plate,
Reassuring the state,
But went down swinging, according to polling...

Griping about the gas prices they pay,
Some customers are just driving away.
In the attendants' defense,
`Tis Bush who owes recompense,
But, "Have a nice day!" seems a clumsy segue...

08/25/05

Voting no for the scrubbing of subs,
Putting a rest to the hubbubbing of bubs.
This congressional panel,
Is changing the channel,
To the Pentagon's flubbing by Shrubs!

Pat Robertson now says that he's sorry,
He "implied" that Chavez should be quarry.
His act of contrition,
Looks more like he's fishin,
To save a reputation that's hopelessly tarry.

Today physicians will Congress beseech,
For regulation of maggot and leech.
Creatures formerly deplored,
Now by doctors adored,
`Tis to the choir that they really will preach...

A Clumsy attempt at Iraq/Terror merging,
This Bush speech claiming "terrorists are converging".
This latest round of polemics,
Leaves him looking bulimic,
On Iraq he keeps bingeing and purging...

With Katrina bearing down on panhandle,
The Floridians all rush to buy candles,
They've lost sight of the mark,
Unprepared for THIS shark,
The panhandler named Katherine, the vandal...

Of reality TV we seem never to tire,
The genera has yet to expire,
Here's the latest promotion,
For single parenting notions,
Trumps the Trump with the catchphrase, "You're Sired!"

08/24/05

The obesity mandate's in a bind,
And Americans are getting fatter in kind.
With our government giving up,
On regulating our sup,
It's "No child left without fat behind"...

Wanna bet that ol' Dub claims success,
As nine states take on his Green House excess,
These power commissions,
Seek to lower emissions,
Yet Dub thinks Global Warming's BS...

In calling the other day for a hit,
On Hugo Chavez, this Pat Robertson twit,
Perhaps, let's be candid,
Might ought to be branded,
Exposing a "Contract with America", legit...

"Cake or death," Bush offers Sunnis, he's daft,
Chimpering rhetoric he offers up as statecraft.
Iraq's now filled with false choices,
And lots of padded invoices,
As they debate their constitutional graft.

Have Paparazzi maybe gone a bit far,
Chasing down these celebs in their cars?
It'll get so much shriller,
As shutter clicking road killers,
Have bones ground by the Hummers of the stars...
 

08/23/05

Bush compares war with radical Islam,
To the war against the Jewish Pogrom.
But it's more aptly compared,
In the way we're ensnared,
To the war he ran from... Vietnam.

Connecticut, today was headlined,
For challenging "No Child Left Behind".
Despite being slandered,
Claimed it lowers their standard,
Too bad other states couldn't be so inclined...

Here's the tale of one Kevin Trudeau,
And "Natural Cures" that he wants you to know.
His latest book of pop tarts,
Is now topping the charts,
While the death toll continues to grow...

In San Fran, it's a win for the Kids,
As right wingers are blowing their lids.
Small brains in a slumber,
Can't accept that the number,
Of loving parents won't put kids on the skids.

Old Dubya addressed Legions of fawners,
Saying war required dying with honors,
Don't want "Freedom" repressed?
Best not question his mess,
Insuring more of our children are goners...

THE BIKE RIDE

"Hey Lancer, you know the rules about leading..."
"Sorry sir, didn't know I was speeding..."
"That's ok, there my friend,
Don't let it happen again...
Cause I could fall, and I really hate bleeding..."

"Um... could I speak with you, sir, about cancer..."
"I suppose... yeah, go ahead, Lancer."
"Could you maybe create,
A prostate mandate...?
`Cause I've been told you're an ass-hole financer..."

"Well, Lance, that's an interesting proposal...
Karl said try to be at your disposal...
But it's all tit for tat,
Glad we're having this chat,
Think you could lighten up just a bit about Mosul...?"

`Well, it's true sir, that I'm anti-war..."
"I respect that, but Lancer... what for?"
"Well, sir... thousands have died,
Just because you... well... lied..."
"You're out in front, son! Now I warned you before..."

"Sorry, sir... I was just making a pitch..."
"It's OK son... you know... look over at that ditch...
You want to talk about cancers,
Those jerks have all the answers...
Heh... yeah right... like I'm gonna talk to that bitch..."

"Guess I knew that my chances were slim,
But sir... prostate cancer is grim..."
"Lance, you gave your best shot...
Consider it forgot...
Race you back! Then we'll have us a swim!"

08/22/05

Don't you know that ol' Dubulya's hating,
This lesson in Iraqi mandating!
Left to Sunni devices,
This constitutional crisis,
Will have George with insurgents bedmating!

Here's to you Mr. Senator Hagel,
From me, have some lox and a bagel,
To replace the pablum,
From your Republican chum,
In the Iraq/Vietnam great finagle.

Seems Saddam has become born again,
If that term with Islamists is in...
He's now offering to die,
To become crucified,
And give his sins a new jihadic spin.

The pope took a victory lap,
Abandoned miter for simple skull-cap,
Kept critics at bay,
At Cologne's World Youth Day,
Distanced himself from his dogmatic pap.

These intelligent designer cornflakes,
And their presidentially supported muckrakes.
Are they arrogant schemers?
Or just simply blasphemers,
Putting God on THEIR time for Christ's sake?!?

Has Scott McClellan been given a break,
As Trent Duffy shovels the insider's take?
`Tis more fun rhyming Duffy,
With huffy, stuffy, and fluffy,
On this vacation from the terminally opaque!

Let's not forget about Rove and his Skipper,
During this vacation for the Crawford flop-flipper.
Let's keep on the radars,
Valerie's painful eschars,
And stop Bush from just closing his zipper!
 

08/21/05

Duck and cover! It's the soften-em-up phase,
Of the 9/11-Iraq memorial craze.
Lobbing rhetorical mortars,
A last ditch call to quarters,
Old-Dubya's-Been-Ladin' this blaze...

Bush administration keeps ignoring the plight,
Of honored vets they continue to slight.
Returning them honed,
To an unintended war zone,
Steadfastly and superficially contrite.

Hmmm... where before have we seen use of this tact,
Where blame's shifted to the abusee's mid-back?
Announced tours of duty;
Four more years sounds like doodie,
When parsed to frame all the blame on Iraq.

`Tis so sad and it looks so whitefacey,
This "Camp Qualls" in response to "Camp Casey".
These opposite retreads,
Argue kill more instead;
A better name might be simply "Camp Spacey"...

Lance Armstrong, cycling's modern day hero,
Went riding with our presidential zero,
White House spokesman Trent Duffy,
After a ride on his Huffy,
Fiddled afterward, and shilled Iraq's Nero.

08/20/05

Ah, the wonder of procreation mid-flight,
One of nature's most soul-stirring sights!
After years of hard labor,
And a roll on the tabor,
They'll deliver NASA's new orbital kite!

After taking pot-shots at a ship,
Attackers then gave `em the slip.
The Ashland was spared,
By the width of a hair;
While the life of a soldier was stripped.

Northwest Strikes! What a confusing score card.
Who'll do this, and just whom from whom's barred?
Wall Street analysts opine,
Northwest'll cross all picket lines,
And mechanical scabs won't send folks to the graveyard.

Harry Reid frightened all his supporters,
With a TIA that was leaked to reporters.
His diet he'll change,
To bring cholesterol in range,
But won't stop dining on Republican porkers!

In a story resembling "The Rainmaker",
Merck & CO has been dealt a back-breaker.
But of course they'll appeal,
With six hundred million in zeal,
And Vioxx for the pain by the acre...

08/19/05

"We support you..."  Bush faux southern drawl.
"We're expendable..." just about says it all.
These Buffalo riders,
Stalk IED's and their hiders,
While chickenhawks dodge rhetorical sprawl...

In the news is the diluting of Google.
"Stock for sale!" announced with a bugle.
This shooting of craps,
May result in just "Taps",
If the owners can't be mighty frugal.

Oh my, old chauvinism is showing,
Judge Roberts, looks a little less glowing...
This kibble is fed,
By the Bushies instead,
Of relasing all the papers; they're snowing.

Next mission for America's space bus,
Has Atlantis delivering a truss.
With no recourse like ablation,
The international space station,
Has become a gigantic hernia for US...

Our support for the court in The Hague
Is suppressed and at best become vague.
Bu$hCo seeks to prevent,
Their torture policies' portent.
Their blackmail terms are the germs of a plague

They're fascinating, these DNA miners,
Modern day flask and tube Frankensteiners!
They refine and regroup,
Primordial DNA soup,
By definition, they're "Intelligent Designers"...

08/18/05

Cindy's saga has spread o'er the world,
And this anti-war mother's impearled.
But the incredible thing,
Causing all hearts to sing,
Is seeing Bush `round pinky finger so twirled!

Pirece Brosnan has refused to despond,
O'er this character, 'twill no longer donned.
They'd invited him again,
But negotiations caved in;
It seems that their word is THEIR Bond.

Ohio Republicans are jarred,
By the tale of their Taft rising star.
Bet you thought I would craft,
A rhyme with golf and with graft,
But without DeLay `twould just be over par.

Roberts continues to weather the squall,
Just postponing an inevitable brawl,
The ABA's stated,
They'll endorse him, top rated!
Who even knew he used to play basketball?

Another Beef story, kind of scary.
Has emerged from the central plains prairie.
Anthrax on the radar,
Puts the kibosh on tartar,
And steaks, medium rare-ish to rary...

Old W became over-absorbed,
With the hygiene he so much deplored.
After trying Teflon,
He consults Don's Pentagon,
Now tools around on his new "Bidet-Board"...

08/17/05

Israeli soldiers stand around, kick the dust,
Frustrated, looking for whom next to bus,
As the settlers say,"No!"
"Make my people go!",
Says Sharon/Moses in this modern day exodus.

A virus struck mainstream media news,
Then infected many other venues.
But I don't speak of the worm,
Leaving computers infirm,
It's the disease that Fox News did infuse.

The DOD as a national employer,
And world renowned international deployer,
Can take credit to date,
Ending red/blue state debate,
As an equal opportunity destroyer.

"These things are always coming in threes"...
Sage wisdom, or superstitious psyches?
Toronto, then Greece,
Then a Venezuelan surcease,
It's all "Left Behind" zombified scree...

Arizona and New Mexico are mad,
Both states feel as if they've been had,
Mexico and the US,
Give lip service at best,
To illegal trade over their borders unclad.

A ragged economy is starting to show,
The results of diminished oil flow,
But Bush grins ear to ear,
And Saudi princes all cheer,
As their coffers and holdings still grow.

The publicity they'll endeavor to bilk,
If they're Russians of practical ilk.
Their dairy with pride,
Will be THC fortified!
They'll buy purses of silk from sows milk.

08/16/05

The Iraqi constitutional spin,
From Condi and Bush is now in.
They're remaining upbeat,
That a new government they'll seat,
While insurgents make sure the fix isn't in...

What a horrible way for to die,
In an airliner falling out of the sky,
But to make matters worse,
These poor souls were cursed,
With being freeze dried then stir fried...

Could Demi be having a baby?
She demures with hypothetical maybes.
They both hope that its so,
Want their family to grow,
But will Ashton see diapers as rabies?

Judge Roberts regards praying in school,
To be constitutionally cool.
Prince and Michael he dissed,
At Reagan staffers was pissed,
This from memos floating atop the cesspool.

Dick Clark wants to return to TV,
Inks a deal for his old year end spree.
With a Cheney co-host,
`Less either gives up the ghost,
It could be sponsored by "NEW! Geritol IV!"

Many infants have made the "no-fly list"
Leaving parents enraged and quasi-pissed.
If you'll read closely at all,
This net TSA trawls,
Has age twelve for a Gitmo good-bye kiss!

The news from Tokyo isn't great,
Around noon they had a quake undulate.
Tectonically speaking,
After the apology to Peking,
Japan's got a lot on its plates...

The Brits have this guy in a nappy,
Surprising women seems to make him quite happy.
Is he a pervo unfazed,
Or a true psycho that's crazed?
There's no reports if his nappies are crappy...
 

08/15/05

As we pay a higher price at the pump,
Without all the resources of Trump,
Will more folks be inspired,
To simply say that, "You're fired!"
While giving W a swift kick in the rump?

Sharon says that they haven't a choice,
Must respond to majority voice.
Though it's causing hardship,
They must leave the strip,
Israel can't afford the security invoice.

Koizumi and Emperor Akihito,
Atoned for Japan's sins post Edo,
Is it sixty more years,
Filled with murderous fears,
Before apologies for George Bush's libido?

Laura's hired a new chef and embraced her,
She's a wiz with prime rib and a baster!
If Bush continues to tank,
With his polls looking dank,
She may need to interview for food tasters...

It's the deadline for the Iraqis' new charter,
With deadpan US says no more barter.
Running short of statecraft,
The US says, "Sign a draft!"
While our dead pine away for departure.

Victor Gonzales a rich, stubborn Burro,
Is described as Mexico's Ross Perot.
But it's illegal to run,
As just a party of one,
On a presidential platform made of Cipro.

08/14/05

Latest dirt from the old Golden State,
Seven year affair with a former jail bait.
Will Arnie stoop to a movie,
To get back his groovy,
In a family values, "Pumping Irony" update?

Old Arnie is mentioned again,
In the Daily Variety spin.
He'll have nothing at stake,
In the "Westworld" remake,
`Cause the ship of state's doing him in...

Ahmadinejad consolidates his mandate,
With intolerant hard-liners who hate,
Not a woman among 'em,
Their Burkhas have hung `em,
And the Bushie war mongers can't wait...

These brainy guys have gotten it right,
Plugging Hybrids in the automotive spotlight.
Two fifty miles per the gallon!
Behaving like Stalin,
Your government keeps them all out of sight...

Marines poised for a new series of attacks,
On those pesky old Taliban hacks,
Using donkeys each day,
They enter the fray,
Donkeys back home pursue Republican sacks.

The security it tightens `round Gaza,
Enforcing abandoning settlement plazas.
Tossing out matzo balls,
For Couscous, Falafel, et.al.
Hope Sharon's government has stored lots of plasma...

08/13/05

That swaggering braggart named Bush,
Again tells the world, "Kiss my tush."
Considering a plan,
For a war with Iran,
While ignoring growing Sheehan ambush...

They enjoy all the comforts of home,
Electronics, tech mattresses of foam,
Will leaving the X-Boxes,
Result in great poxes,
Such as veteran's home poverty syndrome?

The City of New York has rescinded,
Its decision to deny the offended,
They've released the transcripts,
Of victims' last words and quips,
This lawsuit for the truth ended splendid.

The news from Nasaf is quite drear,
Fifteen dead with no combatant veneer.
A bomb by the road,
A knee jerk lock and load,
And we tell them they've nothing to fear...

Roche medical did prevent scarring dimples,
But the treatment turned out not so simple.
As the company deflects,
Increased birth defects,
Accutane's become the industry's pimple.

Global Warming seems no longer a theory,
But Bu$hCo remains stupidly leery,
There are steps they could take,
Some hard changes to make,
But Intelligent Design makes them eerily cheery.

The MRO took an Atlas to Mars,
Amidst toasting and lighting cigars.
Its mission objective:
A human travel perspective,
Helps keep Bush off newsworthy radars...

08/12/05

Dub said, "I grieve your son lost in Iraq,
But I really can't call `em all back...
I've thought long and hard,
It's kinda like playin' cards,
We gotta bluff that twenty-two for blackjack..."

Abramoff has been indicted for fraud,
As Democrats exclaim, "Oh my Gawd!"
As they follow the chain,
Bet Tom's undies are stained,
If there's murder involved, he's declawed...

At Heathrow, British Airways appeals,
A strike has left travelers raw deals
They must now come to grips,
With eating more fish and chips,
O'er the caterers supplying during flight meals.

NARAL has stepped away from the brink,
Admitting no Roberts extremism link.
The right thing's been done,
Let's see how it's spun,
How bad will the right wing's response stink?

Two felons hopped in the hack of this cabby,
Wasn't suspicious `til he tried to make gabby...
They tried to pass as Amway,
Without a single hurray,
The clincher was the tip, although shabby.

08/11/05

This guy in Oklahoma, he must be insane,
Trying to smuggle a bomb on a plane!
Was he working alone,
Or with further suspects unknown?
For now his reasoning seems pretty arcane.

Roberts supporters say they're simply appalled,
By this attempt to have his nomination black-balled.
NARAL's inciting reproof,
Has wingers hitting the roof,
Swift Boating THEIR man has them galled...

Iranians have broken the seals,
Despite international appeals.
They sure seem hell bent,
Seeking no one's consent,
In making Plutonium hexafluoride concealed...

A Stones tune for old Shrubbie's I-Pod,
Gives his failure a Rock and Roll Cattle prod
If the tune's catchy at all,
We'll hear it in Hummers all fall,
Ripping away at his administration's façade.

Seems now London has begun to amass,
A few citizens of the terrorist class.
Their solution of sorts,
Is to resort to deports,
On their own Gitmo, they've decided to pass...

Happy Birthday to Jerry Falwell!
Anointed King of Christian Conservative swells.
With his Moral Majority,
This purgatory authority,
Has succeeded in turning heaven to hell.

"NBK" and "JFK" were well honed,
With "Fourth of July" and "Platoon" he's enthroned
Why's the director of  "Doors",
Doing  "9/11", unless, perforce,
Maybe it's just simply because Oliver's Stoned...

08/10/05

We'd uncovered Atta's terrorist cell,
Well before their planes plunged into hell.
Yet the "Able Danger" omission,
From the 9/11 comission,
Seems to be an ass covering mission... just swell.

It's "Reality on Vacation", day five,
As Cindy Sheehan keeps Camp Casey alive.
Dub's sequestered inside,
But sneaks off for a ride,
Today's an Aurora, pork road kill test drive.

At least we seem to be winning this war,
That Dana Reeve begs us not to ignore.
Lung cancer can trap,
Even a non-smoking chap,
Male, female; young or old; rich or poor...

And now a break from your scheduled news,
On Space Shuttles, and Judge Robert's reviews.
Don't forget Scooter and Karl,
And that DeLay's still ensnarled,
Lest these crooks bid us all fond adieus.

`Tis the tale of a man with a yen,
For selling Chinese for a fin.
He opened shop in Iraq,
`Twas a major setback,
US security, another blow to the old Chen...

Bush advisers were spinning quite prosy,
That the economy was looking right cosy.
Tossing back this Kool-Aid
It's all aces and spades,
Admiring life through their shades that are rosy.

The Central Bank in Brazil has been bitten,
With the loss of $68 million they're smitten,
Beats the previous jig,
By that "Great Train Robber", Biggs.
Have thieves ironically fled to Great Britain?

Another bomb, another convoy attacked,
Another five are now dead in Iraq.
Another anon,
It just goes on and on,
Bushwhacked "anothers" stacked upon the tarmac.

08/09/05

Discovery lands in the Mohave,
With spectators of cacti and agave.
Since the weather caused blips,
O'er the Florida strips,
Must hitch a ride with Jumbo Jet Kemo-Sabe.

`Tis some nerve that he calls it a plan,
This joke with a four year wingspan.
Dub refuses to wean,
From oily teat so unclean,
And protects his oiligarchical clan.

Over counter makes sense the morning after,
Arguments against just couldn't be any dafter:
"More freely dispensed,
Increases teen sex incidence."
Have aspirins made hang-overs hit rafters?

The Iraqis did temporarily disband,
O'er the constitution they sought to expand.
`Twas a common sandstorm,
Called a halt to reform,
With Bush fate now written in sand...

With his compound surrounded by squatters,
And the rhetoric and weather getting hotter.
Dub ignores the big fete,
Touts economic drumbeat,
What a rotter; could it be Crawford's water?

The box office has put up it's Dukes,
Amidst tons of really critical rebukes.
All we can say is, "Go figger..."
As the profits get bigger;
Guess the public really likes `Kewk, kewk, kewks...'
 

08/08/05

Peter Jennings at 67 has died,
Presenting news from a perspective, worldwide.
Literally born to be Anchor,
Showing calm amidst rancor,
And remembered as dual citizen pride...

Judge Roberts says "No privacy right!"
And implies it was no oversight.
He even said its "so called",
So does he see why we're galled,
With decisions to keep HIS records from sight?

Mel Gibson should take on Tom Cruise,
And the views that each star would suffuse.
Which messiah would fall,
In a pay-per-view falderal,
L. Ron Hubbard, or the King of the Jews?

Benjamin Netanyahu has quit,
O'er a Likud intra-party type snit.
Feels their shooting a blank,
In deserting the West Bank,
So he seeks Sharon's political obit.

Vladimir Putin should be very much pleased,
From the nets the submariners were teased.
Now his critics will grouse,
For an administration delouse.
Twixt a rock and a hard place he is squeezed.

The shuttle returned mighty early;
Dawn skies with the stars shining pearly;
With Mission Control,
Touching match to a bowl,
(Limerick cancelled 'cause the weather looks surly.)

Seems the "wet willie", the "noogie" and "wedgie",
Have the children of Oregon edgy.
Are these harsh consequences,
For "Three Stooges Offenses"...
Or Garib once removed from the pledgee?

08/07/05

With nods to the wizards of odds,
And an evil Crawford Texas Bush clod.
As they make for re-entry,
O'er this nee warlock gentry,
Could faulty shuttles plow him under his sod?

The world breathes a sigh of relief,
O'er the sub with candy-striper motif.
To the last seventh man,
No longer spam-in-a-can,
Hope they suffer no more when debriefed!

If you're looking for an American hero,
Confronting an illegitimate Nero,
Take a look at Sheehan,
Grieving mom with a plan,
Making Bush a rhetorical zero.

North Korea says it's no longer able,
To remain at the bargaining table.
Won't give up their nukes,
Despite Asian rebukes.
Jong-illium is inherently unstable.

A new vaccine for the Avian Flu!
A deadly virus according to WHO.
When vaccine is exported,
And pandemic aborted,
Could they work on the "Bush Rabies", too?

It's CSI with a nuclear tinge,
Government agencies on a cover-up binge.
Waste products mishandled;
And a child no more dandled.
Strontium-90 Florida gold makes one cringe.

Supreme Court says "Retarded? Can't hose um."
State of Virginia considered it hokum.
With rhetorical fury,
And diagnosis by jury,
Smartened Daryl, just so they could smoke 'em.

08/06/05

Shaped charges by the US were cited,
For more death and destruction ignited.
They all come from Iran,
Says Rumsfeld's Pentagon,
With Shiias and Sunnis united.

Personnel and equipment have surged,
To a Russian mini-sub trapped submerged.
It ran afoul of some nets.
The crew of seven men sweats.
Post Kursk, seems their navy has splurged.

Iran has turned down the EU,
Responding to the proposal, "PU!"
They refuse to forsake,
Rights to enrich yellow cake,
Risking a hail of American DU.

Mr Blair must have Bush really droolin',
With his tough attitude of no foolin'.
He'll have all those deported,
Who've to dissention resorted,
Before long he'll have all England mewlin'.

It's the birthday of the Nuclear Rage
Today atomic warfare was first waged.
In the sixty years hence,
There's not been much recompense,
As we fight to keep this demon assuaged.

Mrs. Murphy from Eddie has split,
Declaring their marriage unfit.
Marriage left on the skids,
Both now think of their kids,
In filing this dispassionate writ.

Katherine Harris says photoshoppers are screwin'
With the make-up that she says she's eschewin'
Well, if she thinks that it's best,
Dood will give it a rest.
I'll abide with this Katherine, no foolin'...

08/05/05

Old Dub thumbs his nose at Zawahri,
And that guy he can't find, al-Zarqawi.
Says al-Qaeda he'll best,
Putting America to test,
In his Global Petroleum Safari.

Bob Novack, it appears, seemed to lose it,
On CNN, posed a question, refused it.
He was profane, just like Cheney,
In retrospect, not too brainy.
He's apologized, now says that he rues it...

Discovery's been cleared for a landing,
After nipping and tucking and sanding,
Retire it they must,
`Fore some mission's a bust,
And subjects all aboard to a stranding...

Would New York security be possibly blunted,
With a suit o'er the way terror is hunted?
Could we all be much safer,
With no Scotland Yard strafer,
And Homeland Security's publicity stunted?

Bush is losing his confidence game,
More people opt for disdain than acclaim.
Back to Crawford he's fled,
Ignoring dead he's misled,
His burning Bush auto-theocracy's lame..

On Kim Jong-il, North Korea sure dotes,
His legends, a special website promotes.
He's shot eleven holes-in-one,
He's a fighter jock just for fun.
OUR dear leader's website should take notes...

O'Reilly's teed off on Rumsfeld,
O'er facts from America withheld.
He's so rarely a spoofer,
This Fox right wing loofa,
Matters not, which one of the bums felled!

08/04/05

Snuppy's news from Korea, the little kewpie!
With his name as a play on Schultz' Snoopy.
If this is just a prologue,
For more copies of dogs,
`Twould be better if they'd named the pup Dupe-ie.

Mauritania has just suffered a coup,
`Twas not bloody, and felt long overdue.
The air will now freshen,
Free of Taya's suppression,
With Bush facing a new crude oil screw.

Martha Stewart got extended parole,
Stepped outside of her mansion-fishbowl.
Just did some four-wheelin',
And found some Yoga appealin'.
If you must lie, best be inside the Bush fold.

Sony must pay for their fake David Manning,
Reimburse for their box office fanning.
They were successfully sued,
For the BS they spewed,
Now how's this different from Bush media canning?!?

Taking credit for all, it would seem,
Is the disturbing Presidential Prayer Team.
Claiming answered demands,
With their sleight of clasped hands,
They're an intelligent designer's wet dream...

08/03/05

In Toronto, there'll be many a deduction,
As all hands avoided total destruction.
Was air disaster averted,
Because nobody flirted,
Instead listened to pre-flight instructions?

An American journalist executed in Iraq,
Steven Vincent always worked round the clock.
His writings from Basra,
Of Sunni-Shi'ite miasma,
Now adds meaning to the term of "deadlock".

Adidas, whom David Beckham endorses,
Will buy Reebok, combining resources.
They're hoping to squish,
The trademark Nike swish,
Declaring war on our country's Air Forces.

They're resuming atomic ambitions,
And refusing international petitions.
Iran won't depart,
From the nuclear fuel part,
Risking American atomic munitions.

Seven Marines were killed west of Baghdad,
By insurgents in the Sunni triad.
Whoever says this is waning,
Should be subject to caning!
Can't Americans see they've been had?!?

Bush can't see that it's oranges and apples,
Sees no difference; laboratories and chapels,
Wants to make it all grapes,
This President of the Apes.
"He's bananas!" we exclaim as we grapple.

Sandra Bullock went back home to Vermont,
To help her sister, a gourmet bon vivant.
She left behind husband Jesse,
Maybe thought `twould be messy,
Motor oil as a glaze on croissants...

08/02/05

With a new Saudi king in control,
Who will need to get crooks off the dole,
Withstand princely potshots,
And stop terrorist plots,
`Twill be interesting to see if heads roll.

It's D-Day in the Hackett/Schmidt battle,
True leader versus Republican chattel.
Today Ohioans will be,
`Bout the future they see;
Progressive vision or Right-winger prattle.

John Bolton now pushes the agenda,
Of the disreputable Bush hacienda.
There's no misconstruin',
He's a jack-booted shoe-in;
For whom Georgie will need lots of Splenda.

With the hopes that the doctors start flocking,
To the devices their company was hawking,
Guidant's re-approved,
Through swift FDA move.
Defibrillator stocks rise... simply shocking...

Seems Dubya either will or won't go,
With others in funerary tow,
He's waiting, we s'pose,
For a flick to his nose,
Or what the poll he doesn't believe in will show.

In London the tubes have been cleaned,
Supposedly all clues have been gleaned,
Now they'll all hope and pray,
A ballistical spray's,
Not the way that all passengers are screened.

Every summer you hear stories of "Jaws",
Which give surfers and swimmers much pause.
But here now comes a story,
Which was fortunately not gory,
Where the culprit had flippers/paws!

08/01/05

With a constitution in place in Iraq,
We'll be able to pull our troops back.
But it sounds a bit crummy,
This position from Rummy,
That paper armor will cease all attack.

Poor George had just left for vacation,
Must he now go step up for the nation?
With the death of King Fahd,
America's "Bling God",
He must kowtow to fight oily inflation.

The Atkins Corporation's bankrupted,
With the diet claiming carbs are corrupted.
Were their profits all leeched,
By massive flights to South Beach,
Or when Bob died, was the company abducted?

At the Jamboree, Bush proceeded to tout,
Of his staff who were all former scouts.
But it seems that old Dub,
Never made it past Cub,
His own mother having thrown the boy out.

The engineers are all poring o'er reams,
Of fabric and temperature extremes.
Should they consult a good tailor,
`Fore the next time they sail her
With Discovery coming apart at the seams?

07/31/05

07/30/05

George's annual physical exam,
As presented, is just a big a sham.
The results they did shred,
Of the CT of the head,
Showing brain tissue of  less than a gram.

There'll be toasting and raising of Guinnesses,
With the capture of four bombing menaces.
But one has to reflect,
And become circumspect,
Lest THEY'RE charged with executing de Menezes...

The news has reports about CAFTA,
And reviews of all sorts about NAFTA.
But our biggest export,
Of South American import,
Seems to be free democracy's GRAFT... unh...

Two year's legislation's compressed,
In a day of Congressional largesse.
Even McCain with pitchfork,
Can't stop stampeding pork,
Or kids running in halls at recess.

`Tis ironic from Home Improvement derives,
Low technology to save Shuttle lives.
For the tiles that degrade,
Quick repairs can be made,
With caulk guns and large putty knives.

07/29/05

Ohio is amazingly split,
In the race between Hackett and Schmidt
The choice is quite clear,
A Corps leader; austere,
Or a far-right-wing-freeper-ish twit...

He's stood up to Dubulya, this Frist!
On stem cells, he's raised up a fist!
It's going to be neato,
Dub threatens to veto...
Who's politically slitting whose wrist?

"Bolton gave an `inaccurate answer'",
Per McCormack, State Department romancer.
This parsing of lies,
Has begun to draw flies,
With the Bushies eaten up with this cancer.

A third of American troops,
On the verge of becoming "Fruit Loops".
They return as a shell,
DOD says "All's well!"
It's a disgrace that they're treated like dupes.

The IRA's laid down their arms,
Beating swords into plowshares for farms.
Let's hope it will last,
This peace in Belfast,
With all kids safe to eat Lucky Charms...

07/28/05

300 Boy Scouts became stricken,
As the air and the heat seemed to thicken.
But could it just be,
That more hot air from DC,
Is the reason they all seemed to sicken?

The mood around NASA's now grave,
They're grounded again, post conclave.
A temporary shalom;
Could use gel `stead of foam,
If they want to avoid a close shave...

The battle in The House is now over.
Some reps think they're rolling in clover.
Is this deal that they made,
Really good for free trade,
Or just a cheap cotton CAFTAN pull-over?

A couple made love in a dinghy;
Waterbed, both exciting and springy!
Their cries really vexed,
Left rescuers perplexed;
No rubber to cover his thingie?

CAFTA quickly became a shakedown,
When it appeared it was going to sundown.
`Twas extended for hours,
By Republican powers,
Pursuing "fair" vote, "up or down"...

They've proven it's all just fantasia,
This obsession with the herb Echinacea,
It's been overly sold,
As a cure for the cold,
In our quest for Rhinoviralthanasia.

07/27/05

Old Rummy is squinting through glasses,
As he appeals to the Iraqi masses,
`You must not redefine,
Your constitution deadline!'
With screen door bearing down on his asses...

Karl Rove, Valerie Plame, just ignore it...
The quagmire in Iraq can't deplore it...
Bush enjoy's a reprieve,
Plots more ways to deceive,
`Cause Discovery's made it to orbit!

Gotta ask,"Is this guy really bonzo?"
Or maybe, "How could he respond so?"
This Republican tool,
He's above all the rules,
Will there never be "Bedtime for Gonzo?

Bush addresses the Scout Jamboree,
In the wake of a real tragedy,
It's a shame that he went,
After they pitched the tent,
Alas, where's that Rove strategy?
(Just "blackened humor" there, agent Mike.)

In Alabama they picked up a nude,
Looking for Gump, as he stewed.
Obsessed and undressed,
Seems he'd really suppressed,
That Gump's in the WHITE HOUSE, there dude!

07/26/05

Congress had neither the gumption,
Or compunction to address oil consumption.
Will this needing to suckle,
Cause the US to buckle;
With the size of the teat, bad presumption?

Engineers are the latest odds-makers,
For success of the NASA "Moon-rakers".
While estimates vary,
1 in 100 is scary,
Yet it seems there's no end to the takers...

Boot Camp's never been a misnomer,
But the services now want a homer.
They insist Sergeant Carter,
Work harder and smarter,
In retaining and using all Gomers.

Is it a recess appointment for Bolton?
This White House behavior's revoltin'.
Bush wants this curmudgeon,
And says he ain't budgein',
Will the world now see both snakes a' moltin'?

George Lucas in November, perforce,
Will release the last discs on "The Force".
It ends at the nadir,
With the birth of Darth Vader.
"These are the discs that you're looking for...", of course!

07/25/05

Niger is the scene of heartbreak,
With US silence in starvation's wake.
Care to hazard a bet,
Like Marie Antoinette,
Bush will ironically send THEM Yellow Cake?

Seems Discovery's been given the go,
With the fuel sensor problem in tow.
Will this stubborn anomaly,
Lead to a new homily?
NASA's answer is `God only knows...'

"Hey Andy, thought I'd give you heads up,
`bout that Plame/Joseph Wilson hook-up.
You've got `til the morning,
`Til my formal warning,
To get all the staff's records cleaned up."

London aims for the head not the chest,
In an attempt to put terror to rest.
While US license to hunt,
A pseudo-humorous affront,
To liberals, puts democracy to test.

"Wedding Crashers" has caused venting of spleen.
The controversy's a "purple heart" scene.
A new bill's on the way,
But will hypocrisy defray,
Prosecuting GOP band-aid routines?

07/24/05

Are we to believe the guerrillas are feigning,
And our resources they’re really not draining?
In keeping the tack;
Up is down, white is black,
Isn’t this more like Bush/Neo-con waning?

It’s official; we’re a culture of War,
Sixty percent think there’s another in store.
Have years without peace,
And a missing surcease,
Brought complex values which are strictly adored?

Betty Boop is not doing so well.
Even after she survived Isabel.
‘Tis the fate we’ve all dreaded,
The old girl’s been beheaded.
Was it an Al-Qaeda terrorist cell?

Armstrong finishes another great trek,
Yellow jerseys and another paycheck!
Should be “Tour-de-Lance”,
Barring any mischance,
Like a feckless Bush mountain-bike wreck.

“Judge Roberts, I’m simply delighted,
That your loyalty has finally been cited.”
“Why thanks, Mr. Bush!
‘Tis your agenda I’ll push.”
“You know, John, I wish you could have been knighted.”

In the lands where the burka is fashion,
The religious keep reign on all passion.
Now Rebublican Men,
Nee Taliban kin,
Sans burkas, seek to Americans ration.

Senior ladies would sure like to meet,
This nude intruder who just tickles feet.
In the dark of the night,
Sometimes by flashlight,
Couldn't Jeb be a little more discrete?
 

07/23/05

London police nearly emptied a clip,
Into a chap trying to give them the slip.
As more details emerge,
This instantaneous purge,
May rouse Brits from their political kip.

A stationary high pressure ridge,
Refuses to budge just a smidge,
Sends homeless to shelter,
To avoid deadly swelter,
While others stand in front of the fridge.

At a Northwestern Lacrosse Photo-Op,
Four brave women flipped an issue ker-plop,
Into Dear Leader's lap,
While he wore his foolscap;
No need to flip if you're merely a flop...

As they're achieving a new constitution,
Ironically Bush's "final solution",
Don't be taken aback,
If the people of Iraq,
Then insist that we pay restitution.

"Mahmoud, I must say this to you,
I really like what you're trying to do...
You gotta crack a few heads,
To end this bloodshed."
"Why, Ms. Rice, you're a militant, too?"

Peeling off in SUV's from the pumps,
Is the latest from Republican frumps.
Will high gasoline prices,
Leave their party in slices,
Creating second generation Mugwumps?

Seems America is going to Mars!
The House votes to raise the crossbars.
We're tired of his reigning,
He's had fighter jock training,
Could we send W, one way, to the stars?

Latest news out of Redmond/Seattle,
In the ongoing PC OS battle.
Renamed as just "Vista",
This latest ballista,
Should help Gates rustle more Windows cattle.

07/22/05

In London, two weeks to the day,
Faux bombers seemed to say "bombs away!"
Suicide nuts,
Or misguided futz,
`Tis not safe, either way, safe to say...

Scooter and Blossum have lied.
In a blatant attempt to misguide.
Showing nary a wit,
Of remorse or true grit,
Is it jail for what they would elide?

Rice is meeting with Sharon and Abbas,
In the stead of her sniggering boss,
Attempting to spruce,
A faltering truce,
Putting spin on this utter chaos.

The age for enlistment is due,
To be raised from thirty-nine to forty-two.
Turn it up just a notch,
And sit back and watch,
What the older yellow elephants will do!

"Hey, Scooter, did ya get my email...
'Bout that Wilson you wanted to nail?"
"Hey Karl, I sure did,
Ought to help in our bid,
To discredit without leaving a trail."

07/21/05

Please help me pursue a fiat!
`Cause I think that they owe him a lot.
It would just be so cool,
If they'd once bend a rule,
And have NASA beam up Mr. Scott!

Here's the latest in news from Khartoum,
Where Condi Rice was shoved out of a room.
She'll see camps where there's rape,
In Darfur all agape,
Now she's experienced just what has led to `em.

RIP to Montgomery Scott,
Or James Doohan, we'll miss him a lot.
Forever he'd toil,
With that pesky warp coil,
Saved the day as he'd say, "I cannot!"

The Senate has entered the fray,
Seeking press freedom fears to allay.
But the Patriot Act,
They mustn't redact,
And abort neo-con power plays.

Seems their efforts to paint it as rumor,
Is beginning to grow a big tumor.
Now thanks to a ghost,
Leaking things to  The Post
This cancer's invaded turd bloomer...

"Hey Karl, have you committed a crime?"
"No George, that's just enemy slime."
"You old turd, I thought not!"
"Dub, we'll get through this spot."
"Um... could you read to me Karl, its bedtime..."
 

07/20/05

John Roberts, nominee, Supreme Court,
Is he supporting the right to abort?
Will he send to the sea,
This conservative palm tree,
Prove he's more of the Doug Roberts sort?

The latest researching from Pew,
Assessing Old Dubya's virtue,
Shows Americans' trust,
Has been left in the dust.
Is the cause that Turd Blossum voodoo?

South Texas awaits Emily,
With tourists all massing to flee.
But the Mexican coast,
Has suffered the most,
From this tropically depressed émigré.

General Westmoreland has died,
The role of the press he decried.
Blamed their stories from Nam,
Sought to sacrifice lamb.
As he wrestled defeat with his pride.

In Philly,  a nude man attacked,
The police, not a stitch on his back.
But the puzzling spot,
Is, this guy, he was shot,
Concealed weapons he certainly lacked.
 

07/19/05

Bush now says that it must be a crime,
With smirking and squirming, sublime.
Is he hedging his bets,
And parsing his threats,
Needing Rove to continue his slime?

The Bureau says it will travail ,
So that terror will never prevail.
But what of Greenpeace,
Do they need to police?
Perhaps they're just easier to tail...

Your next apple may have a tattoo,
Increasing the market's purview.
Drop your mac in the sack,
But don't be taken aback,
With tattooed PC ads in the queue...

They just can't attack the UK
We've frightened Al Qaeda away.
Gotta say Oh, good grief,
Another Condi Rice brief!
And more bodies beneath a subway.

Seems that Farrell and Law are new clowns,
Both presenting in public with frowns.
Standing ever erect,
And without introspect,
`Tis what happens when a zipper's stuck down...

07/18/05

The White House today remains mum;
Overdosed on Afghan opium?
No daisies or lillies,
For these Capitol Hillbillies,
Their funeral? A solitary blossum...

Israelis, maintaining their tack,
Continue the Gaza pull-back.
Could their withdrawal under fire,
And attempts to retire,
Portend coming years in Iraq?

Has Hollywood ended its slump,
Receipts climbing out of dump?
It seems Willy Wonker's
Been driving them bonkers,
Giving profits a small oompa-lump...

The investigation's now focused on Scooter
With Ken Mehlman attempting to neuter.
But pursuit of old Libby,
Is proceeding quite shibby,
Giving Mehlman a kick in the pooter.

Immigrants were saved on Wednesday.
`Twas a cell phone that saved the hombres!
Never lost their horizon,
Maybe thanks to Verizon,
And "¿puede usted ahora oírme?"

07/17/05

Sy Hersh should be man of the year,
He's ripped off the Bush "Freedom" veneer.
An election Bushwhack,
With Iraqi kickbacks,
Doesn't seem to be tinfoil headgear.

Happy Birthday today, Disneyland!
It's the fiftieth for the park Walter planned!
Will they someday provide,
A new Bush-themed ride,
Called "The Pirates of Iraqiranistan"?

We're continually told "All is well!",
As Musayyib is sent straight to hell.
Yes, it seems up is down,
That's a smile, not a frown!
As Bush postures to seize a Nobel...

Sixty years of presumed aplomb,
Mark the birth of the Trinity bomb,
But now Fat Men and Little Boys,
Are but firecracker toys,
With our potential for nuclear napalm.

As Emily bears down on Cancun,
And the placid lagoons near Tulum.
Lets all hope what's ensuin',
Doesn't add to the ruins,
Of this Mayan civilization entombed.

We're all rushing to read Harry Potter,
JK Rowling is such a great plotter!
But please don't offend,
I've not got to the end,
If you spoil it for me, you're a rotter!

07/16/05

In the review of the Powell memo
The plodding of justice is slow.
Will it lead to a toss-up,
Karl's defense "It was Gossip",
Or a Rovian contendere, nolo?

Nearly a dozen Bad Apples were found,
Who were slapping insurgents around.
But where is the germ,
Or in command worm,
Who allowed this abuse to abound?

A photographer Cameron Diaz has sued,
Over photos of her semi-nude.
In pre-exposing her boobs,
To someone's flashcubes,
Is her career now unglued, or renewed?

Re: prisoners of the Far Cuban Quod,
Gonzales won Bushies the nod.
After judicial review,
Can have cake; eat it, too,
For us all, is George Bush now a God?

A Canadian teen was caught speeding,
Claims a bathroom was what he was needing.
A supplementary shake,
Left his bladder aquake;
Should sue Arnold for his excessive exceeding...
 

07/15/05

Seems POTUS has blown his fifth chance,
For racial equalities advance.
Again he will flee,
NAACP,
Garnering awards for that old "Black-Face" dance.

"They've resorted to partisan war chants".
Says Bill Frist, waltzing in the Rove dance.
"Is it not worse", we must ask,
And rip away this false mask,
"Using partisan war chests to advance?"

Arnold made a big deal with Joe Weider,
Who was seeking to become an insider.
For the bills that he kills,
Joe would pay Arnold's bills,
Who'll atone for this "supplementary rider".

Over Rove, the White House is still tense,
As The Times shills the latest nonsense.
With a wink and a nudge,
Drudge promoted this fudge,
The "Talk o'er the Fences" Defense.

A boy from upstate New York,
Considered by some just a dork,
Did play by the rules,
Unlike those toadstools,
Who'd the plot of Harry Potter uncork.

The Republicans regret they let Rove in,
After the lies and deceits he has woven.
'Tis now their travail,
They never noticed his tail,
Or his horns, or his hooves that were cloven.

07/14/05

The Bushies keep ignoring the noma,
As their polls ever deepen towards coma.
But gangrene is unique,
The sense of smell often piqued,
By that distinctive Turd Blossum aroma.

The launch of Discovery's upstaged
By a redundantly placed hydrogen gauge.
Pity NASA's no Jordie,
On call for this sortie,
Then Picard could say to Riker "Engage!"

Iraq's shown with a new body count,
Innocent death rates continue to mount.
But when it comes down to "Freedom",
Bushies say "We don't need `em"
No polls or tolls cause these trolls to dismount.

Moniz won the '49 Nobel Prize,
For his controversial brain surgery franchise.
But families contend,
To rescend and amend,
End result: his Nobel lobotomized.

Barely a week, sense of security blown,
British find terrorism's homegrown.
This Al-Qaeda is sly;
It's our tolerance they ply.
Can Brits avoid the religious touchstone?

This item never made it to the tubes,
"Implants Stolen by Brazilian Rubes"
The risk of infection,
From this stolen selection,
Adds new meanings to the come-on, "Hot boobs!"

07/13/05

Seems that Bush with the Dems has sojourned,
To pick a SCOTUS without being burned.
It could be by October,
If Republicans act sober,
Seems the old "No Timetables" have turned!

For dead crews everybody will pray,
As Discovery launches today.
They've repaired damaged tiles,
Answer questions with smiles,
"Light this Candle!" they ironically say.

He escapes without reprimand,
General Miller retains his command!
Seems it's OK to duct tape,
And to simulate rape,
And threaten families, but just who's Taliban?

Aage Bjerre, the French and Germans despised,
For not supporting the US wartime franchise.
Jailed Dane says, "No Slices!"
When left his devices.
Now his Pizzeria will just draw "Freedom Flies".

And in similar news from Beijing,
Japanese customers must an apology bring.
They'll get no won ton,
From this shop they'll be gone,
Without accounting for the rape of Nanjing.
 

07/12/05

Bush journeys to the Marines' Quantico,
Fear mongering with all due bravado.
Turns it all up a notch,
Saying "Not on my watch."
All we can say to this sham man is, "Dung Ho!"

They've issued an Air Force directive,
Avoiding London seems a little defective.
We'll "stand by our man",
Behind huge bags of sand,
While enduring deserved invective.

Bush says he'll fire anyone involved,
But now that the Plame riddle's been solved,
He's inexplicably clove,
To ol' Turb Blossum Rove,
Five will get you ten, Karl's officially absolved.

As we listen to Scottie McClellan,
`Tis to laugh all this BS he's sellin'.
He's instep this big troll,
Both in heart and insole,
There's no doubt he's just gellin' with felons.

The White House has no comment at all,
Regards Rove they just obfuscate and stall.
Lets hope the redress,
From an awakening press,
Will make Dennis look like a spring squall.

For strange news, to South Dakota we slog,
Where a man lost an ear; the prologue:
He fought over his mutt,
With a fishing zealot.
The results: "Man Bites Man Over Dog".

07/11/05

Al-Jaafari, claiming  we turn them to haters,
Pleas for civility, this official debater.
As a wave of attacks,
Kills 48 in Iraq,
Says Boylan, 'Shoot first; asked questions make craters.'

Good news! They'll all be home by next fall!
Having completed an unfair two year call.
But the Guardsmen should fear,
Yet another third year,
For this administration has the temerity and gall.

The Chinese to Condoleezza were nice,
In three months, she has visited twice.
Gives them a pass on Taiwan,
And US jobs that have gone,
This new order of the same cold refried Rice.

The last commando, US says, died in action,
Disallowing other stories more traction.
Both sides try to deceive,
So just who to believe?
No doubt the Taliban won't print a retraction.

Has the Hollywood slump finally gone?
Fantastic Four didn't drop the baton.
Critics branded these heroes,
As nothing but zeros.
But The Torch, he responds with, "Flame On!"
 

07/10/05

Perhaps it's just not very nice,
To joke of selling the Eskimos ice.
But son of a gun,
It's a heck of a pun,
Bush is now trying to sell China Rice!

The suicide bombings continue,
With Iraq as al-Qaida's new venue
This Presidential lame duck,
To his own flypaper's stuck,
So long as rendition remains on the menu.

From Clinton's history she's just been excused,
Now Paula Jones feels her ego's been bruised.
So she says `carpe diem'!
She'll just visit his museum!
And she's cryptically sponsored... Fox News?

Cyrus Kar the documentary maker,
Is to be released from America's green acre.
He'll be back from Iraq,
His appendages intact.
Seems this unwitting mule was no faker.

Upsetting just briefly the flora,
A rocket burst through the aurora.
Japan's new M-5,
Is really alive!
Not something aimed at Godzilla or Gamora.

As Florida braces for Hurricane Dennis,
They're fanning hopes they won't soon look like Venice.
When the tidal surge ebbs,
From the state of ol' Jeb
Will it wash away this bigger government menace?

There is news from the land of Cathay,
Of skateboarding wiz-kid, Danny Way.
He's jumped the Great Wall,
Did it four times in all!
While Gengis Khan depended on meelee.

"Rush Hour Three may be in the trash can,"
Says martial artist film star Jackie Chan.
Friend and co-star Chris Tucker,
Fears he'll be played for a sucker.
When egos clash there can be no stuntman.

The Reynolds Aluminum Brigade,
Fell victim to a reality crusade,
Will the webmaster boss,
Survive the blood loss?
Is it too much for a single bandaid?

As old Dubya tried on his new kilt,
Enamored with how he was built.
Seems he wasn't prepaired,
For the brisk, chilly air,
This G-8 member of long standing did wilt.

07/09/05

The New Gilligan's Isle writers will try,
To make producers with labor comply.
Seems they've brought a lawsuit,
In their quest and pursuit,
Of a much bigger slice of the pie.

The dust settled in old London Town,
And England avoided meltdown.
With spirits quite plucky,
They'll still say life is ducky,
Unlike cross-puddle fear mongering clowns.

The legislature went to bed at two twenty,
As the Governor bartered a'plenty.
While they dicker about wealth,
School systems and health,
Seems Minnesota's not the land of Pawlenty.

An archbishop of the Catholic Church,
Cardinal Schönborn, left things in a lurch.
With an OK from the Pope,
This mitered head dope,
Writes new creed with evolution besmirched.

In a new film starring Nicholas Cage,
Ollie Stone writes his next hist'ry page.
Can World Trade Center Towers,
Out-draw Austin Powers,
In a blockbuster patriotic assuage?

With the quaffing of many Coronas,
The bulls have just run in Pamplona.
Dennis Rodman appeared,
For the second straight year,
But the bulls fled from him, no bologna!
 

07/08/05

Iraq holds new talks with Iran,
Could this all just be Dubya's big plan?
Says he's not a divider,
Insists he's more a uniter,
His legacy an "Iraqiranistan Taliban".

A committee for a statue is formin'
In the hometown of James Garner, Norman.
Of the famed "Rockford Files",
He's brought Hollywood smiles,
A great honor for this old "Maverick" gunman.

Fox News thinks that bombs are good things,
"Why just look at all the unity it brings!"
Perhaps a big bomb,
Filled with fiery napalm,
Dropped on Fox would pull everybody's heartstrings.

Al-Qaida claims they've killed an envoy,
Thumbing nose at our president cowboy.
But DOD claims,
They're on top of their game,
While Baghdad more resembles Hanoi.

In the latest travails of ol' Jeb,
Can't he bury that old Terri deb?
The state found no proclivity,
Towards criminal activity.
Perhaps they should look into HIS web.

07/07/05

In London a bomb has exploded,
As illusions of security are eroded,
Will Prime Minister Blair,
In a fit of despair,
Leave G-8 to AmBush and imploded?

07/06/05

The lobbyist Jack Abramoff
Owned "Signatures", a well to do trough.
But old Tom Delay
It seems never would pay,
Comped his plate of hundred dollar pilaf.

In Singapore they pitch for the games,
And to carry on the Olympian flames.
New York pulled all stops,
As 9/11 it drops,
Adding guilt to their frames. Oh, for shame!

The diplomats are continually sacked,
In this "American protectorate", Iraq.
The latest right to complain,
Comes from the state of Bahrain.
All the while mercs sit around the tarmac.

As the G-8 enters into debate,
Bush postures and swaggers; irate:
"Who'll step up for Freedom,
Be on call when you need `em?"
Ignoring his economic flyweight.

The litigator for terror now stands,
A position on SCOTUS to land.
"It's a debt of omerta,
That I owe to Alberto,"
Bush says, standing there, gun in hand.

07/05/05

Sonya Thomas' belly ballooned,
37 dogs in 12 minutes, never swooned!
But they were second best specs,
In the eating star treks,
As she failed to leave Kobayashi marooned.

Could it be that Karl Rove is now toast?
Caught exposing a CIA Ghost?
Since we've no Bastille,
For to send this schlemiel,
How `bout rendition at a far Cuban coast?

07/04/05

"For Bush, I'll apply all my torque,
Bring the Olympics, right here, to New York!"
In a fit of caprice,
Shunning lessons from Greece,
Michael gives his fair city bad pork.

In a mission that went smooth as satin,
To a comet the size of Manhattan,
They launched a big slug,
And a huge crater was dug.
Hope NASA keeps the shuttle from splattin'.

Is NASA being run by rednecks?
“Hey ya’ll, just watch this!” say the techs.
“I’ll betcha a beer,
I can hit it from here!”
Is the extent of “Deep Impact’s” mission specs.

We rejoice that a Seal has been found.
His reinforcement chopper was downed.
Strikes a resonant chord,
With all sixteen aboard,
Even Custer thought his reasoning sound.

07/03/05

Happy Birthday, today, to Tom Cruise,
Mouthpiece for Scientology views,
He says,"Don't take drugs,
From psychiatry thugs."
While his crisis of midlife makes the news.

Another ambassador accosted,
Just as Egyptian relations defrosted,
Will Sherif loose his head,
On a dusty roadbed,
When negotiations have all been exhausted?

Seems Gonzales has flown to Iraq,
In a secret PR sneak attack.
While inspecting those cats,
Who wear sacks for hats,
Is he safe from rhetorical flak?

The brother of a bomber named Nichols,
Is the latest of Michael Moore's pickles,
He claims that his name,
Has suffered defame,
For his role in a movie that tickles.

Of note were the bands of Live-8,
Pink Floyd made some new fans gyrate.
Old age I have feared,
With my moldy gray beard,
But, compared to Gilmour, I look great!

From the crater of old Mona Loa,
To the hillsides of ripening Kona,
The pretty blue sea,
Of Hawaii's for me!
Where "Hello" and "Goodbye" is aloha!

07/02/05

Citing terror and email flimflams,
Closing the door on the world with a slam.
"Don't want the root servers,
With neutral observers",
Spoke thusly good old Uncle Spam.

07/01/05

06/30/05

Gay marriage is legal in Spain!
`Tis stirring to see logic reign.
Would old Colonel Pickering,
Allow me some snickering,
As I say, "Hope this becomes mainly plain."?

06/29/05

The President has said it again.
"Watching violence and bloodshed offends."
I tune MY TV,
But the dead I don't see,
Is he watching the same CNN?

06/28/05

The President goes to Fort Bragg,
With fireworks and waving of flags.
But families are pissed,
At the way they've been dissed.
Is he marching right into Fort Frag?

06/27/05

A delegation to Gitmo forsooth!
To look into behaviors uncouth.
But after two years,
They found no arrears,
Seems America "Can't handle the truth..."

06/26/05

Have the Americans met with insurgents?
The secret's becoming emergent.
Are we hedging our bets
With these terrorist threats?
Macho images may need some detergent!

06/24/05

There once was a consultant named Rove,
Whose president's popularity dove.
So he called up the right,
For a 9/11 knife fight.
Some kids can't keep hands off the stove.