06/11/06 Prexy Quest
The Former Star Ship, DNC Defector, trolls a Galaxy of American voters searching for the right combination of negotiated platitudes to make one of the crew the new supreme Prexy of the American Galactic sector. In a constant struggle with their eternal enemy, the Republicons, the DNC seeks to rule by stealth and political wiles, presenting as non-threatening or confrontative an image to the Republicons as possible.
Peter Chintzy Swaggart(played by Joe Liberman), the current Captain of the DNC Defector. His favorite saying, "Never stand up... hope no one remembers!"
Brawny Madison(played by Hillary Clinton), the communications officer for the Defector. Her job aboard ship is to repeat everything that the DNC and the Defector's computers say. "Look! I have ONE job on this lousy ship. It's stupid, but I'm going to DO it. OKAY?"
Dr. Loserus(played by John Kerry), the science officer for the Defector... the only crew member with any military and tactical training. He feels angered by the twists of fate that have left an undeserving Captain Swaggart in a position to run for Prexy. His favorite saying, "By Tom Delay's hammer, you will be avenged!"
Young Ensign LaGreedo, now all grown up as Lt. LaGreedo(played by William Jefferson) is the navigator for the Defector. As a boy he had very sticky fingers on the ship, and no one is very trusting that he has given up his ways as an adult.
Tech Sgt. CaChing(played by James Carville) is the technical brains behind the Defector. He's pulled the Captain and many before him out of countless scrapes with the Republicons. He's in charge of making sure that the Defector's Spin Drive is constantly in running condition and that the ship's cloaking device allows them to operate undetected amongst Republicons.
Guy Fleetingman(played by John Edwards) is the one term crewman with no first name who is killed off after only one episode. A really positive guy who wants to be a full time member of the crew, but petrified that he will only be killed off again.
The cast wander from appreciation dinner to appreciation dinner, drowning in booze and remembrances of past glory until one day when a disbelieving Swaggart is contacted by a group of moderate Democratons called the Infirmians. They tell Swaggart that he and the crew are needed in the fight against the Republicons. They tell Swaggart that they have constructed a real ship called the Defector and need he and the crew to lead and operate it. Swaggart believes that it is just another PR gig but agrees and promptly accidentally declares war on the RNC, the Republicons, and their leader the evil Scareus.
Quickly, the crew is drafted into real life roles that they are unprepared for and promptly wreck the Defector in their first battle against the evil Scareus. Lt. LaGreedo wrecks the Defector's spin drive by siphoning off too much fuel at the insistence of Swaggart. The ship escapes on impulse and the crew slinks away to the planet Kos in search of a Mojonium sphere to power the spin drive.
In attempting to steal a Mojonium Sphere, they encounter the Kosians, a seemingly cute and loveable race, who turn out to be quite vicious to even their own... especially those offering assistance to the crew of the Defector.
The crew manages to get away except for the captain who must face the dreaded Grrignak.
Captain Swaggart eventually bests the Grrignak with the help of the crew.
Swaggart and the crew eventually repair the Defector and reluctantly lead the Infirmians into battle against the dreaded Scareus of the RNC.
The Episode ends as the crew attempts to use a secret weapon aboard the Defector against Scareus(played by Ken Mehlman). The weapon attempts to catapult the Defector and all reality back in time, past scar date 9/11 and change the Galactic Prexy election so that Swaggart is relegated to the role of Vice Prexy under a true leader named Gore.